UFOs exist

I’ve just been reading the news because I like to feel informed about the world and stuff. I found this on the BBC news website:

"UFOs exist, says Japan official"

"Japan's chief government spokesman has announced that unidentified flying objects (UFOs) exist."

They actually explain the acronym, and then pretend he means aliens anyway. In other words, he's confirmed that he thinks there is such a thing as flying objects that are unidentified. Like when you look at the sky and think 'Is that a helicopter?...no, it's just a bird.' He believes in them. What a nutcase. He actually thinks that sometimes you see things and you don’t know what they are. Idiot.

They also add helpfully '[a] document revealed that Japan has not yet planned what to do should aliens arrive here.'

Interesting - a document that doesn't mention something. That could be...let's see...any document in the world. If you want to emphasise what a document doesn't do, you can stress anything you like:

"Chris's blog entry shows that he has not yet planned on how he will have sex with farm animals should he find himself on a farm."

See - the above sentence is completely true, while saying nothing of the content of what it’s based on.

I paid my TV license the other day. Just making sure that the BBC have enough money to carry on with the good work. The license mentions a lot of useful information, but it failed to mention the extent to which I'd feel anally violated every time I watch Panorama.
Chris