AutoComplete Truths

AutoComplete is a system that remembers what you have typed in text boxes on webpages and saves them for later use. The idea is that they can save time when having to enter repeated things like email addresses and names. If you double click on an empty text box on a webpage then it will show you everything that you have entered in a box with that name in the past.

If you really want an in-depth psycho analytical review of your life then double click on the Google search box with AutoComplete on and find out what a tool you are.

Mine starts with about 12 empty records which means 12 times I have clicked the Google search button without actually typing anything in. This makes it my favourite Google search term. The following are some of the highlights of the list. Most are too boring and nerdy to list. I have tried to include my incentives for the search if remembered or calculable.

"massive titties yeah"
I can't remember why I needed to research this particular topic. I obviously needed the exact terminology, putting the term in speech marks to get an exact match.

2 girls 1 cup
A friend told me to search for this and to watch the video of the same title. I did this. You should never do this. If you know what I am talking about then you will understand. If you don't then forget I said anything.

alex the kid
Yeah, I downloaded the classic Master System game Alex the Kid and played it to take a trip down memory lane and yeah I still play it daily because it is a damn good game. For those who aren't in the know, you play a kid who has one big friggin' hand. You basically go around hitting stuff with this big hand (as you would do in real life if you had one really big hand) and then complete the level by eating rice cakes. It's basically the unofficial video game of the film Schindler's List.

Antony Worrall Thompson abused
Someone once told me that famous chef Antony Worrall Thompson had been abused as a child by three uncontected people at three different times in his childhood. This search confirmed this fact and his status as unluckiest child alive.

average penis size
After preforming this search I can tell you it's about 6" errect. I have never measured my own penis for fear it is below this figure. "Why not just do it now?" I hear you ask. Well, in your face, Dan borrowed my ruler earlier in the day and now he has gone to bed so fuck you. Anyway rulers are for drawing straight lines not measuring you penis so I probably wouldn't anyway.

cerazette pill can i take any pill in the pack
I think my girlfriend did this one. She takes about thirty pills a day at specific times so it's no wonder she has mistimed one and worried that she might die. Most of them are consumed to stop my 5" penis impregnating her (Pete W (her dad), if you are reading this then that was a joke we don't do that sort of thing, she only takes the pill for hormonal reasons).

fiddle with your penis
Can't remember ever searching for this. It was probably Dan or Chris.

hidden messages in money
There are some crazy people out there. The idea is that if you fold money up in different ways then you get hidden messages. Most revolve around 9/11 and are stupid.

i love sex
This wasn't a search, I was just informing Google about the things I like.

kitten gun
I wanted to know whether someone had invented a gun that fired kittens (safely). No, once again I would have to wait for technology to catch up with my ideas.

pete allen ladma
A bit narcissistic I know but seeing myself on Google gives me a sense of importance that I can't replicate anywhere else. I doubt my dream of just putting my name without "ladma" and being on the first page will ever come true due to the commonness of my name. Although I will achieve this a lot sooner than Dan Smith, which is the only more common name. Speaking of namesakes there is an Amercan stand up called Dan Smith who is a douche. There is also a Kris Marshall comedy actor based here in the UK. There is also a Australian paedophile called Pete Allen so Googling yourself isn't always fun and games.

sexy ladiy
What's upsetting about this is that there was no entry for "sexy lady" which means I gave up quickly, probably moving on to "massive titties yeah".

St Lucy's Home for Girls Raised by Wolves
I didn't search for this but thought the concept was funny. The chief reason know I didn't perform the search is that the user used capitalisation. Goggle searches are not case sensitive you douchebag!

Simply skimming over my search history tells me I am an inadequate sex obsessed narcissistic idiot who can’t type but likes scatology. If you currently visit a councillor or psychologist don’t bother, look through your search history instead. That will tell you quite quickly what a messed up pervert you really are. If it doesn’t then fuck you, at least I have two friends you fucking shit.

Pete