Edinburgh Day #3 - Toilet Troubles

We have now entered the third day in our Edinburgh flat. You probably know that already if you’ve read the title, which you have, so sorry about that. The flat on the whole is very nice. The only downside is the bathroom. The shower is less effective than pissing on yourself, the lock doesn’t work and the light is operated from outside. This means that a common occurrence when wanting the toilet is to walk up to the bathroom door, switch the light switch and open the door to find someone on the toilet in the dark.

Pete

You know you've made it when...

It doesn't get much better than that (although admittedly our ranking is solely down to us having a video called 'Men, Women, Rape and Sex')

Dan

A comedy of errors

When we started gigging we expected that our first show would be the worst. We assumed that once we got underway we would iron out the kinks, end up word perfect and the show would be better for it. Somehow the opposite has been true. The more we do it the less we seem to know. Wednesday’s gig in Manchester was proof of this being technically the worst but somehow more fun than the rest.

The only words that I need to get right are my opening lines. They are also the words I have spoken the most as they open the whole show. Of course on the night I just said something completely different which messed Dan’s actions which relied on them. The sound also didn’t work which meant that Chris had to sort it out mid show. It’s alright though because I managed to cover for him by dancing for the audience while he was gone. We are lucky to have my dancing skills in the group otherwise I don’t know where we would be.

In our defence we had never seen the venue of the set up and had virtually no time to set up the props and sound. The atmosphere was so warm however, that we could just relax and mess around a bit more than we were used to. In past gigs if the sound had failed I would have dealt with it swiftly by running off the stage crying.

We also did a few things that we had done in rehearsals but didn’t have the balls to do on-stage which was nice. Ironically one of these was me hitting Dan and Chris in the balls as I ran past. Actually we had never really rehearsed that. All of which proves that planning and preparation get you nowhere. Next year we won’t bother writing a show. We will just turn up, fuck around for an hour and end on us all kicking each other up the arse.

Pete

Brighton Fringe: From Washout to Sell-out

A week is a long time in politics. It’s even longer if you’re a Daddy Long Legs and your average lifespan is 24hrs. But in comedy, a week can be a roller coaster.

After months of writing, re-writing, cutting things out, rehearsing, putting things back in, publicising, fliering, hoping and shitting, all our hard work comes down to two gigs in one fine week in the middle of Brighton Fringe Festival. One fine week prefixed by Chris losing his voice, Pete’s inexplicable nose-bleeds and my unfortunate rash. From our point of view, the first gig was a bit of a washout. Despite hours of fliering and my ridiculous headgear we only got 13 people through the door. And most of those were people we knew. We were initially taken aback by the turnout (and I think this was reflected in our energy at the start of the show) but the material was well received, we got consistent laughter, and the delivery and performance was good. We were just pissed off that no-one was there to see it, although with the show being at 22:00 on a Tuesday we were always going to struggle for numbers (despite being comedy pick of the day in the local newspaper and the fringe email!).

The second show couldn’t have been more different to the first. Demoralised by the first show, we threw caution to the wind and gave up on fliering and rehearsing. Instead we hired our resident heavy, Jon, to force people to come and utilised the power of Facebook to network our way to success. It worked. The second show was a sell-out. More chairs had to be brought into the theatre and the show had to start late as a result. The energy levels were good all the way through, the material consistently went down well and it was much more enjoyable than the first gig. Because of the first gig we went into the second a bit more relaxed and confident which allowed us to play around with the material a bit more and ad-lib some extra material. As the gig went on, however, I think we became a little bit more self-conscious and because of this (and lighting and sound issues) we missed out a couple of sections and lines. This was really annoying as we reference them later in the show and some good material was lost.

Overall, the festival was a great experience. I think our performance was more solid in the first gig – we performed the material well and without (much) mistake but the second gig was much more enjoyable and allowed us to gauge the quality of the material more effectively. The bigger audience also allowed us to establish a better rapport and atmosphere – because of the small audience at the first gig this was very difficult. Most of all, we’ve got a better idea of what works and what doesn’t in the show. We’re playing around with the material a lot more now which means we’re writing new bits and improving sections. The familiarity also means the performance is getting better. But there’s still a long way to go before Edinburgh. The show will be further road tested in Manchester, London and Brighton before then. It’ll be polished, refined and tweaked but rest assured we’ll return infantile, silly and slightly obscene.

Dan

Dan's a Head Case

We’ve recently been flyering for our Brighton Fringe show. Due to the greed of Brighton & Hove City Council it’s now compulsory to buy a pass to flyer. This means that all the small productions (like ourselves) can’t afford to buy a pass because we’ve already forked out on venue hire, fringe registration, entry into the brochure, costumes, posters and fliers. Conversely, all the big productions and commercial outlets can afford to buy passes. The whole point of the pass system is to reduce litter but, when the biggest culprits have always been big productions and commercial outlets and these can continue to flyer at their will, how the fuck is that fair? It creates a two-tier system. The big shows will get bigger because they can publicise more and the small shows will get swallowed up. It undermines the whole definition of an ‘arts’ and a ‘fringe’ festival.

Anyway, there is a small window of opportunity to flyer for free. This opportunity falls during Fringe City on each Saturday during the festival. With three Saturdays and 2, 500 flyers that’s 833.33333333333333 flyers per day! However, due to the restrictions, every other show in the world is out flyering. Therefore, we needed something different to distinguish us from the crowd. We needed something unique yet attractive. We needed something distinct yet inviting. In short, we needed something that makes me look like a bell-end. And so we came up with this:
I originally had the idea when I was pretending to be a beekeeper by putting my washing basket on my head. The idea soon evolved from a beekeeping costume into a PR machine. It has garnered much interest in our show and one person even called me ‘block head’. I’m not sure if that’s bullying or not. The only drawback to my magnificent headdress (apart from being precarious during even slight winds) is the craterous indentations it leaves on my forehead. This can be painful and has caused my forehead to start peeling. But the positives outweigh the negatives. For anyone interested, I will be holding workshops throughout the 2009 Fringe on how to make these head cases.

Dan

Post Traumatic Stress

Today we received our neighbour’s post by accident. Normally this wouldn’t be a problem as it’s usually a bill or junk mail. You just go downstairs and stick it through their door. Not in this case. Today we received a catalogue. Shapely Figures catalogue to be precise. With the strap line ‘Make the most of your figure’. A nice sentiment I think you’ll agree but not really something I’d like to consider in association with my elderly neighbour. So what do you do in a situation like that? Bear in mind that it wasn’t a discrete catalogue but plastered with a large picture of a large lady. I couldn’t just post it through their letterbox. It was almost one o’clock in the afternoon so, if I posted it, they would know that it wasn’t the postman. They would know that it came from upstairs. They would know that I’d seen my neighbour’s underwear of choice. It’s not that I was embarrassed (which I was) but more to do with the fact that my neighbour might be embarrassed when she knew I’d seen her catalogue (which she wouldn’t have been). So what could I do? Post the letter through her door and leave us both in the knowledge that I’d seen her large smalls? Keep the catalogue myself? Throw the catalogue out in the recycling? (I knew this wasn’t a feasible option because my neighbour might see our recycling and think I’d been stealing her mail). In the end I just took the catalogue to the post-box and reposted it. I know I’m costing the Royal Mail more money but, to save our collective embarrassment, I think it’s worth it. I just hope my next issue of Fat Kids Magazine doesn’t get delivered downstairs by mistake.

Dan