For as long as I can remember I have felt like I’m living in a kind of global pantomime, a worldwide farce in which one actor has captivated audiences night after night in his role as villain: George W. Bush. Whenever he comes on (or even gets talked about by the other characters) all the children around me dutifully boo and hiss and they bloody love it.
Except these aren’t children – they’re adults. And it’s all real. We all thought it was brilliant in the early days, and most people still do, but I have to say that I’ve had enough. Watching George Bush do anything now is a bit like watching a modern day clown. He’s unfunny, tedious, slightly unsettling and really has no right or need to exist at all. Yes, we don't like him - but it's getting boring. He's the obvious choice. Obvious things are dull.
In his credit, he has been such a stalwart – so reliably hateable, so inarticulate, hopeless and rubbish. We have been enjoying a veritable orgy of disdain, a parade of contempt that needed only one central premise: we don’t like George Bush. This was all you needed – slap a picture of the Great Satan on to your verbal punch-bag and you’re away. Everything is so simple about it. Finally, something that we can all enjoy. From hippies to yuppies there is no corner of our social world that disagrees. Brilliant. George Bush is rubbish! Yeah, fuck George Bush. Hey, look at me! I know where I stand politically! Give me a pat on the back!
One of the reasons he is so accessible as an bad guy is the fact that he is so uncomplicated. We have been so accustomed to villains as super-geniuses that were on a completely different level to the likes of you and I. The cat-stroking, well-spoken, art-loving psychotics of Hollywood have always remained distant and enigmatic. Sure, they were evil, but there may well have been good reasons for their actions – if only we could understand the things that they knew. Which, not being geniuses, we could never do.
Then finally, a baddy who is also a cretin comes along in real life. We could hate him and feel good about ourselves! It’s two for the price of one! What’s more, he doesn’t just get things wrong in a subtle, unfunny way – he produces comic gems that can be captured in brief sound bites and stills: ripe, pre-packaged nuggets that seem to have been made for Mock The Week and Have I Got News For You. He makes gaffes and blunders like a pie maker makes pies.
Unfortunately, just as you get very bored and sick of eating nothing but pies (or I imagine you would), so have I grown tired of George’s antics. I have a calendar on my desk (bought for me as a Xmas present) called the ‘George W. Bush Countdown Calendar’. As you can guess, it not only has a calendar but also a countdown until he leaves office. Each day you get a fact or quote that will make you tut, shake your head and say ‘George Bush, man. What an idiot.’ Personally, I am counting the days – but mainly because when he is gone we might actually start talking about (and more importantly, joking about) someone else. By the way, there are 359 days to go.
Chris
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